All Day Long.
And I answer back.
It's not creepy.
It's not insanity.
It's not an issue of mine...
It is my way of focusing.
My way of staying connected.
My way of choosing
what I am doing
why I am doing it
and who I am.
I used to ignore myself.
I lost my voice.
I forgot my connection with my self.
I had thoughts,
but they lived in my head
or in my heart
or sometimes in a notebook.
I started saying them aloud
Putting them in motion.
Setting them free.
Letting them out.
And when I heard myself say them
give them life
allow them to leave my head
and my heart,
My words had power to help me choose
to make me move
to change me
to represent myself
to share myself
I have conversations with myself when I wake up
When I am getting ready for my day
When I stand in front of an open refrigerator
When I walk into a grocery store
or a fitting room
I ask myself questions,
and I answer.
Do I really want to eat this, or do I want the way I will feel if I choose NOT to eat it?
Do I really want to spend this, or will I feel better if I wait on something else I really want?
Do I really need to let this bother me, or can I let it go and be proud of myself?
Do I really need to let this go, or do I need to face it head on and be heard?
Why am I so restless?
Why did I do that?
What do I want to really say, the next time?
When am I going to get serious about this and conquer it?
What is the most important thing for me to do with this day?
What am I going to do today for myself?
Where do I want to spend my time today?
Why do I keep falling into the same patterns?
How badly do I really want this?
Why am I choosing moment by moment, rather than planning and sticking with my plan?
How do I want to feel when I get into bed tonight, about how I lived this day?
Is this really going to make me happy?
Will I still be happy because of it, in one hour, one day, one week?
Will I wish I hadn't? Will I be frustrated with myself? Angry? Depressed? Disappointed?
So many questions.
a few years ago,
I would not have been able to answer them.
A few years ago,
I didn't know myself,
didn't remember myself
didn't invest the time,
to even question....
wasn't even close to knowing myself enough
for the answers.
I can answer
I can answer all of these questions.
Most of the time,
I am honest with my responses,
most of the time
but there are still times
when I trick myself
or am confused
or answer in a way that shields the truth
or is a lie.
Yep. Sometimes I even lie to myself
(and I know when I'm doing it)
When I find myself going a day or two
without the questions
(and therefore, without any answers),
I know I have to start talking again.
My life doesn't seem to work very well,
My time is not my own,
I seem to forget about me and come unraveled
and get irritable
and start eating
and slipping backward....
....when I give myself the silent treatment.
Start Feeding Your Self
Talk to yourself today.
You really are your very best friend,
once you get to know yourself.
Be Your Best,