Wednesday, August 25, 2010

What I Didn't Do

When I ask my husband how I lost 100 lbs., he says, "Mind over Matter, Baby. Mind over Matter."
When I ask my kids, they say, "You stopped eating as much and you danced."

That, my friends, is really all there is to it. I know that sounds simple. But...it's true.
You, I know, are wanting pointers, steps, ideas, answers.
So I will oblige.

First I will tell you what I did NOT do:
I did not join a club, hire a trainer, or attend even ONE fitness class.
I did not watch a single work-out DVD
I did not attend a group meeting, calculate points, or buy meals in a cardboard box.
I did not count calories
I did not measure food
I did not keep a food journal
I did not look at a clock, or time a workout
I did not invest any money (really) in the process of losing weight
I did not give up my favorite foods
or cut out sugar (or carbs, or meat, or dairy)
or obsess over fat grams (I was aware of fat grams...as I'll detail later)

If you are doing any of these things....GREAT!
More power to you! They will make a huge difference in your success.
They will certainly (probably), impact the SPEED of your success.
Go for it! Keep it up! You are doing MORE than I did!

I needed to do this alone.
The way I see it, I gained the weight, alone (with no one's help)
and I HAD to lose the weight, alone.
I needed to make permanent changes in ME.

I knew, I would not be able to maintain, at home, something someone got me to do in a class. I knew I could not follow a diet, because the moment I quit the diet--I'd be back to my old ways. I knew I could not give ANYTHING up completely--because I have a memory like an elephant--and elephant-sized taste buds to match. To give up something I LOVED, would mean the memory of what I gave up, would live as a Phantom in my gut...beckoning me, wooing me to return again--and consume enormous heaps of whatever I had sacrificed. (I'm talking about Bacon, here people. And Lay's potato chips, and McDonald's fries, and grape slushes and peanut butter cups and burgers, and.....the list goes on!)

I know myself, and knew I'd have a great time drawing a chart, creating menus on my computer, setting goals and pledging to work out 45 minutes a day, 5 days a week....and then...I'd lose steam in about 3 days. I'd swear off sweets and vow to drink 6 glasses of water a day, and buy new sneakers, and a new arm band for my iPod. And I'd still lose steam in 3 days. I knew I'd get all excited about getting up early in the morning to start my day, and then (by the third day) hit my snooze three times, or pray for a rainy morning, when I was heading to bed. And then I knew I'd feel guilty. And like a bad person. And a worthless woman, because I couldn't do it. I'd be even more upset with myself than I had been four days before, when I'd gotten on the scale and seen the latest, Mt. Everest-sized numbers staring back at me.

I also knew I couldn't be on a rigid schedule or plan. I couldn't JOURNAL my foods, because I'd fudge. I mean LIE, about what I ate...even though no one would ever see the journal but me! My life is busy with four kids. Places to go and people to see. Meetings to attend? I KNEW I'd be a failure before I even started, if getting to the place I wanted to be weight-wise, meant adding any commitments or obligations, to what I already had going on in my life!

So (drumroll)...
Here is what I did:

I stopped eating.

Did you get that?
I. Stopped. Eating.

and

I started feeding myself.
Again,
I. Started. Feeding. Myself.

And that is what I am going to teach you how to do.
HOW TO FEED YOURSELF

Next time.
(I kind of feel like Ryan Seacrest saying, After the break....)

For now, here is what I ask you to do:
SOME TIME, VERY SOON....(like, in the next three days)
1) Buy a spiral notebook (THIS IS NOT A FOOD JOURNAL). Get one that is fun, or funky. With something on the cover that makes you laugh or smile, or captures you now, or who you were when you were young.
2) Find a pen you really like the feel of, in your hands.
3) Get yourself one of those big ol' CONTAINERS of minty gum (the kind that fit in the cup holder of your car).
4) Pick up a new lipstick, or lip gloss or lip balm.

Then, find FIVE minutes to sit down somewhere...
5) Pour yourself a glass of ice cold water.

6) Pop a piece of gum in your mouth and chew it. Taste it. Feel the candy shell crunch with your teeth. Get it really soft, work on it for a minute. Pucker your lips and suck in some air. Feel how cool your mouth gets. Take a sip of that water. A nice gulp. It's almost too cold to handle isn't it? Notice how it freezes the gum? Makes it all tough and hard? Crazy stuff.

7) Now, put on the lip stick/balm.

8) Open up your spiral notebook to the SECOND page and describe what you JUST did. Make a list of 10 words, detailing the sensations, experience, feeling, thoughts you have about that gum, the water and your mouth. REALLY DO THIS. DON'T JUST READ THIS.....DO IT! Write a paragraph if you want. Fill up that sheet of paper, focusing on the gum. Draw a picture if you want. Fill up that page, as best as you can. We'll talk about why you're doing this...next time.

9) Go back to the FIRST page in your spiral and print (in the center of the page):
STOP EATING
START FEEDING MYSELF

10) Chew a piece of gum, whenever you want, as often as you want for the next several days, but take the time to experience it, like you did in #6 (but without the water).

That's all.
Be your best,
Becky



4 comments:

  1. This is so interesting, Becky - I love it! I have my supplies and I am ready to start the journey with you! I have 60 pounds to lose - and the me I want to be to uncover! Everything you said resonated with me - I mean all of it. I have been that girl that would lie to myself in my own food journal, that would start a "plan" and then quit in 3 days, that has spent Lord knows how much money on meal replacements, diet plans, diet pills - and none of it works. None. of. it. I am so excited to do this! You are such a blessing, Becky. THANK YOU for sharing - for opening yourself up - for being vulnerable. Thank you for doing that because you are someone that I can truly relate to - and that means a lot.

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  2. I so wish I could do this RIGHT NOW. I am pregnant! I feel a little guilty, like I'm using that as an excuse, but your writing is so inspiring that I genuinely feel *disappointed* that I'm not going to be able to follow this whole thing hard-core. However, I am STILL going to get a notebook, pen, gum and lipstick and start...and then maybe, who knows, I will have something solid enough in place by the time this baby comes that I can just continue on. I love the freedom with which you approached your new way of eating. It actually sounds....exciting!

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  3. I love it. I'll be buying the gum and spiral tonight. Love YOU!

    And - truly, what great truths and perspective. I was wondering if you crawled inside my head when you wrote all of that... did you?

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  4. OK - just finished my first gum! :-) Don't usually chew gum, so this was different. Anyway...

    I can't remember how I happened on your blog initially. We have mutual friends on FB, so I think it happened there somehow...

    I was at ORU when you were there (I graduated in '94, Music Ed major). My freshman year I lived on Claudius 2 yellow, and I think you were the RA on 2 blue or green? Brenda Testasecca was my RA and Judy Plageman was my chaplain. I remember you playing your violin for a Christmas open house! Never got to know you personally, but maybe now I can!

    I turned 42 this summer and have at least 100 lbs to loose. I think of my days counting aerobic points and walking/running regularly so I could pass the field test (!), but for the last 16 years these things have fallen by the wayside.

    I've been so blessed - saved by His matchless Grace, a wonderful husband of 11 years, a loving, supportive church family, work that I truly enjoy doing, opportunities to serve, "parenting" a young man (we are his legal guardians - long story. We have no children of our own). I need to be the best I can be so I can faithfully do everything that has been entrusted to me!

    I'm looking forward to this journey. Thanks for taking the time to share your experiences!

    Oh! Hi up there, Sohailah! :-)

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