Chew on This

So, how did it go with the gum?

Did you really sit down and follow the steps I suggested last week?

I really, really hope you did

(if you didn't, that's ok. Maybe try it this week!)

If you did, it means

you put yourself OUT THERE.

You took a step.

You were willing to step out, without knowing

the whats and whys.

That took courage and guts.

You just DID IT.

Because. Just because.

It also means you were truly WILLING to make a change.

Some of you don't know me at all,

but there is something you are looking for

something you are wanting

something you are wanting to change

or become

or let go of

or conquer

and your CHOICE to try the gum, as I suggested

means you are at a place in YOUR life,

where you are earnestly, assertively

Taking action

Following your heart

and

Willingly moving away from the old

and into the new.

I am crazy proud of you.

Maybe you didn't even realize what you were doing

(and still don't know why)

but on some level,

you TRUSTED

you BELIEVED

you were willing to invest in the hope

that it wasn't a waste of time,

that there would indeed, be a pay off.

And there was a pay off.

You, took a step toward feeding yourself.

You changed your breath

You changed the environment of your mouth

You refreshed yourself

Your taste buds got a wake-up

Your teeth and your jaw, got a workout

You fed your curiosity

You made yourself pause and think and reflect and express

Hopefully it gave you a little pleasure

Maybe even made you feel good about yourself, because

You Did Something For Yourself.

Here's what it didn't do:

Cost you much

Make you feel guilty

Blow some diet

Take away from your husband or children

or

Last

Forever

That minty fresh feeling you had,

faded.

The flavor wore off.

And, if you followed it with a gulp of water,

even the softness disappeared

The pleasure and freshness of biting into that candy shell and

FEELING the gum

EXPERIENCING the jolt of mint,

Tasting, smelling and breathing in the ESSENCE of the gum,

had a short life span.

YOU are much like that gum.

You will (and maybe have already)

Lose your freshness and your flavor will fade

Over time

If you do not

consistently refresh yourself.

FEED yourself.

The chewing of your teeth, the working of your jaws

is like the daily grind of living.

The work of mothering

The tasks of housekeeping

The duties of wife-ing, volunteer-ing, friend-ing, family-ing and career-ing

The gulp of water that made the gum tough and unworkable?

That's the reality of life. Disillusionment. Sacrifice. Loss. Burnout.

Financial Hardship, Marital Strife, Long-term Singleness, Loneliness

and

Boredom.

I am not the type who can chew a piece of gum after it loses its flavor

but, there are some of you who can.

Some, can chew and chew and chew,

until their gum turns gray and tastes like cardboard.

I propose, here and now, that that's what a lot of us are doing

in our lives.

That is how we are living

We're being chewed

and chomped

and losing our flavor.

We are gray

and we taste like cardboard.

In fact, sometimes,

we have no taste

at

all.

We are simply doing

and handling

and being chewed.

And some of us, aren't even miserable

or feeling unhappy.

Some of us are ok with all the work.

The exhaustion.

The chaos.

The stress and strain.

The pace of our lives.

For some of us, gray is ok,

because on some level

It defines us.

And

We've forgotten

or never felt

what it was like

to be

Any

Other

Way

Ah, but I am here to tell you

(and please believe me)

(some of you are hoping this.

longing for this,

but are afraid to really believe this)...

There. Is. More.

There is more to this life,

than the chewing.

There is flavor to experience

and refreshment to taste

and an entirely different environment in which to live...

I received an email from one of the women who's been paying attention to what I've been writing.

She noted what she called an "addiction to food."

Others have mentioned in writing, that they are "Emotional Eaters"

And one friend alluded to her struggle as "knowing this is about my relationship with food."

Ahhhh...all of them are close,

close to the truth.

And maybe, it is their truth.

But that was NOT my truth.

It would almost be easier,

if the answer to weight loss, were about food.

Then we could all just eat the right food.

In right portions.

Combined with the right amount of cardio...

and be happy when the weight disappeared

and Never Gain Back an Ounce.

But

I believe it's harder than that

Bigger than that

Deeper than that

and

Much, much, much sadder than that.

I do NOT think it is about our relationship with Food.

I think, believe and KNOW (at least for, me)

That it is about:

My Relationship with My Self.

That is what we'll tackle...

Next Time.

For now, while you are waiting,

I ask you to do the following:

1) Put on your lipstick (or gloss or balm)

(I'll explain that part Next Time, too)

2) Pull out your notebook and turn to the next blank page. Number 1-10 down the left-hand margin. Across the top of the blank page, write the names of four women you know, plus your own name, forming columns. Pick any four women. You may all play tennis together, live in the same neighborhood, have kids in the same school, attend the same church, or have attended the same college. Or, you may choose four random women with no visible connection whatsoever. Create a chart-of-sorts, filling in the following information for each woman (as best you can):

1) Marital Status

2) Car they drive

3) Their hair color

4) Age

5) Number of children

6) One word describing their personality

7) The state where they were born

8) Coffee, tea or Diet Drink they use to begin their day

9) Siblings (how many, if you know)

10) Career or Stay-at-Home

3) Turn again, to the first page of your notebook (where you have ALREADY written: STOP EATING. START FEEDING MYSELF). In the upper right hand corner, print:

This is not about my relationship with food.

It is about my relationship with My Self.

4) Pop in a piece of chewing gum whenever you want to from now until Friday (That's when I'll post again and get you ready for the weekend). As you chew, THINK about THIS BLOG POST. Ask yourself if it makes sense, how it applies to you, how it doesn't apply. Add your thoughts to the BACK of the page you wrote on when you tried the gum for the first time, a few days ago.

Of note:

Please sign up to follow me on Twitter @danceparty4one I will post three Tweets a day to fill you in on how I spend my day Feeding Myself. I'll be honest, too. Sometimes I EAT rather than feed myself. No faking with you. I'll tell you the truth.

I will be blogging on Mondays and Fridays from here on out.

SIGN UP TO FOLLOW THIS BLOG.

It keeps ME inspired (and you know how important inspiration is, right?)!

And please pass on my story, the YouTube link, the link to this blog and my Twitter info to whomever you want. Get the word out. It's fun when you can talk about it with people. You never, ever know who you are helping with you reach out and share.

And for those who are really wanting TIPS and Things to DO to lose weight

Here are a couple of my sure things:

* Feed yourself all of your food in the first 12 hrs after you wake up. STOP EATING after your dinner! Just stop it. Decide to stop. And then stop.

* Split your meals with your oldest child or spouse. This saves money when you eat out. My son gets almost 2/3 of whatever I order. I get what I want, but he gets to finish it.

* (Or) ask for a To-Go box as soon as your server brings your meal. Put half in the box and take it home. That half = TWO fantastic lunches at your place!

* Make a list of what you purchase at the grocery store and post it on your frig. This way you know what is in your cabinets and pantry and you will be LESS likely to open the door and start GRAZING or searching for something to eat. REFER to the list and KNOW what you want to feed yourself BEFORE you open that door.

That's all

Be Your Best,

Becky