Number 4 is a Doozy!

Well, what I thought would NEVER happen, has happened.
He asked for help.
He asked me for advice
He wants to join the party
My husband.

Apparently, he thinks we're having a little more fun than him,
and he doesn't want to miss out.
So, he asked me what he needs to do to enlist in
Becky's Boot Camp.
(He has changed the name for himself, as to escape having to run out and get lipgloss and high heels.)

So, I'm embarking on a new path with him.
I am SUPPLEMENTING
the DP41 plan, for HIM.
For Dudes.
For GUYS.
So, if you have one (a guy that is),
or if you ARE one (and have been reading and watching on the sly),
Now is your moment to step out of the shadows,
and make yourself known.
(All two of you)

And women,
if you have yet to REALLY dive in:
heart first,
head second,
and body last,
and want to start NOW...
GO ahead and do it!

Mike is running to the store to buy a journal, as I type.
(I refuse to even BEGIN with him, unless he has a journal).
A Superhero spiral caught my eye the other day, and he is on a quest to find it for himself before lunch today.

Before he left for the store, I asked him some questions to consider while he drives. Hopefully, he will have some answers for me when he returns, and can record them in his Justice League Log (this is what we will call his MANLY journal from now on...)

Please ask yourself these same questions and ponder your responses. Write out your thoughts, being as honest with yourself as possible...

1) Why? Why OTHER than dropping pounds on a scale, do you WANT to do this? (if you need a few springboard ideas to get yourself started as to the "WHYs" go back and check out my "100 Results" list, it might point out what is possible for YOU too! Mike has already said, he wants to wake up not feeling SORE every morning. He wants his knees to have less stress on them. He wants to have more energy. How 'bout you? What are the physical, emotional and mental reasons you want this? LIST THEM!!!

2) When in your adult life, did you put on the greatest MASS of weight? What were the circumstances in your life at that time? What were your work circumstances, relational circumstances, emotional circumstances and spiritual circumstances?

3) What do YOU think are the causes for YOU being where you are today, in terms of your BODY, your WEIGHT, your FEELINGS ABOUT YOURSELF? WHY are you HERE right now? What decisions, habits, patterns and thoughts, LED you here...to THIS point...where there are things CHANGE-WORTHY about YOU...about YOUR LIFE? (Remember please, that this is not ALL about weight. In fact, I believe weight is the simplest thing to change about yourself. It's ALL the other stuff that is HARD to change!)

and finally...

4) What are you prepared to do? What time allotment are you willing to invest in this...in YOU? How much are you willing to change, or put into CHANGING, to get results? On a scale of 1 to 10, how SERIOUS is this for you (1 being mildly important, 10 being I want this for myself more than any other single thing in my life).


That last question (number 4), and your answers to it...is the REAL doozy. The first three questions, are FACT-finding questions. They are information-gathering, personal-assessing, analytical questions. These are the questions we tend to be able to answer more quickly. Easier. Though some of the answers to these questions require confessional responses, most of us are willing to "go there" and give answers, because no one is going to see our journals anyway, and our answers aren't really surprises to ourselves (well, maybe they are, if we haven't stopped ourselves and asked them before)....

But
number 4.
That one is the doozy

Number 4 is about the future.
It is not about the past
or what got you here
or why you are where you are.

Number 4
is about
where you are going.

It is about
how you are going to get there
and
IF
you are going to get there.

Because,
as I've said before,
it is not about your diet...
your specific exercise...
your PLAN...

It is about
YOU

Are you
REALLY, truly, honestly
GOING
to pursue this,
pursue YOUR SELF
through WHATEVER food choices you make,
physical activity you undertake,
relationship shifts you determine,
personal changes you internalize???

It all comes down to
YOU and
HOW BADLY you want to change.

Personal story...
I was overweight for many years.
MANY years.
Not a year went by, when I didn't gain
at least some weight.
I would catch a glimpse of myself in the window of a building and gasp at my reflection.
I'd get ready in the morning, see myself in the mirror, shake my head at myself
and move on to start my day.
I remember trying on clothes in a fitting room and holding in tears.
I remember times when I couldn't hold back the tears.
I remember going up size, after size.
I remember that awful scraping sound of the metal hangers sliding across the pole of the clothing rack in the women's department as I moved from the smaller plus sizes to the larger plus sizes, hoping they even HAD my size.
(That sound of metal hangers sliding on a metal pole, still gets to me!)

And for years,
I remember
saying to myself,
and sometimes out loud to Mike,
"I will NOT be fat forever."
and then I would add, from a very honest place in my heart
(again, for years),
"But, I'm not ready yet.
There WILL come a day, when I am ready.
I will stop all of this, one day.
But it's not now.
Not yet.
I am NOT going to die this way.
I AM going to get it together.
But I'm not going to play around with it,
and say I'm ready when I'm not.
I'm not going to pretend,
and start
and ACT like I really want to change
WHEN the fact is,
I don't.
I don't really want to change
yet.
I am not yet ready to pay the price,
face my fears,
make the changes I'd have to make
or become who I know I'd have to be
to change.
Yet.
BUT, I KNOW
there will come a day when I am ready.
And there will be no stopping me....
then."

For me,
all the gasps, and sighs, and held-back tears,
and head-shaking-at-myself, and shame,
and personal disappointment, and "I'm such a loser" feelings
I felt
Were not enough reason to change.
They were not enough.
Pain and shame were not my motivators.
Fat was not my motivator.
Being a size 22 was not a motivator.
Weighing over 250 pounds was not a motivator.
Having children to raise,
A husband to love
and great faith in my God
Were
Not
Enough.
These were not my
Motivators.

The Woman
I was INSIDE,
The Woman
who was aching
longing
screaming
and
begging
to GET OUT AGAIN
and
Start Living
Start Being
Start Loving
and Dancing
and Playing
and Reaching
and Smiling
and Savoring
and Touching
and Feeling...
That Woman
was
and
IS
My Motivator.
She was ready.
She wanted it more than she wanted ANY OTHER THING for herself.

I was at a 9 (on that scale of 1 to 10)
when I asked myself Number 4.
I was there.
I spent a few weeks (months?)
AT a 9,
before I started.
Remember, I said this before,
I picked a day.
I marked it on the calendar
I stuck all of my courage into the ground,
like a sticking post...
and began the process of changing.
And I
have
NOT
looked
back
since.

I have rested from time to time.
I have plateaued.
I have paused.
I have assessed.
I have been discouraged.
I have felt weak.
I have considered looking back
I have contemplated stopping where I stood
But have NOT
EVEN ONCE
wanted to GO BACK
to who I was then
or how I lived my life
or what I used to do
Before.
That is not an option for me.
Going back is not an option.

So.
Number 4.
What is your answer?
What are you willing to do?
When are you willing to start?
How ready Are You?

My challenge....
START thinking about it.
Take this holiday season, and think
really think
make the decision to choose honesty.
Be truthful with yourself about what you want,
why you want it,
and what you are willing to pay
in terms of sweat, tears, change and love
to get it.

And pick a date.
Pick a date to get serious
about YOU.
About who you want to be.
Pick a date
and start
THEN.

Mike is back with his Superman Notebook.
Let's see how he's done with his questions.
I'll keep you posted!

That's all.
Be Your Best,
Becky