Stretch Marks

I have been on the road a lot in the past two months.
In hotels
On planes

The hotels, I love
The planes, I dread

Put me up in a hotel, and I am a happy girl.
I have been known to check into a hotel 25 minutes from home,
to get away for an over-night.
It matters not where I stay, as long as there are tiny bottles of
shampoos and lotions,
someone to make my bed
and towels to use, I didn't have to wash

I like traveling ALONE
completely ALONE
I can stay at a hotel for three days and two nights
and never speak to anyone.
I did this once in Greenville, and had
The. Best. Time.

As for the flying?
Hate it
Dread it.
Fear it.

The dips
The shaking
The pressure in my head
The cramped spaces
The security
(I mean, really...who wants to take their boots off in a line, cram their belongings into little containers, and practically disrobe In Line, for a 10 second waltz through a metal detector?)
(I know, I know, I get that it is necessary, and I appreciate all the efforts to keep me safe, but still, I despise it)

So, in the past, I have limited my travels to DRIVING distances
I have avoided airplanes.
Until now.

I have been on 8 flights in the past 6 weeks
For some, this is NOT a lot.
For me, this is more than I have flown in 6 years.

Why?
I am doing this, to stretch myself.
I am doing a LOT of things to stretch myself.
And it all started at 39, when I decided
once and for all
to stop thinking and talking about losing weight
and changing my life
and Do It.

Here's the thing,
I lost the weight
a ton of it
(or 100 pounds of it)
and I feel great.
Even when I look in the mirror and I see
my very
less
than young
less
than perfect
less
than firm
body

My pregnant-three-times,
twins-bearing
four-baby-breast-feeding
extra-weight-carrying
Out-of-shape-for-so-long
freckled
scarred
stretch-mark laced
body

I have stretch marks.
There I said it.
I have only a few Baby Stretch Marks
But, I am riddled with 100 pound stretch marks.
The Baby stretch marks, are Stripes of Honor.
I carried life
I held two baby's bodies (at one time) WITHIN mine,
and parts of me will never be the same.
I am proud of these marks.
They are awards for 9 months of pregnancy
and
10 months of nourishing
I am in awe of these marks on my flesh

But
the other lines
the other stretch marks
play a little differently with my eyes
when I catch a glance of myself in the mirror
They represent
a different part of my history
A time of neglect
and unconsciousness
and sadness
and depression
and invisibility
AND
Victory
they are Battle Scars

These stretch marks were not nearly as obvious
BEFORE I lost the weight.
My skin was stretched past a good capacity
and there were marks even then,
but it was when those PUFFED up and out
areas went BACK to their intended size,
that the deep marks really surfaced.
Deep tracks where my skin won't ever be the same.
Deep grooves, where the elasticity is simply shot.
This makes me sad, and proud, and challenged
All At The Same Time.

Sad...that I made choices for years to ALLOW my body to be so pushed and unappreciated.
Proud...that those MARKS are NOW there...because I lost the weight to show them
Challenged...to CONSCIOUSLY stretch myself in body, mind, spirit, emotion and accomplishments for the rest of my days.

Stretch Marks

Stretching

I am now choosing to be stretched
looking for opportunities
booking flights
hopping on planes
telling my story
sharing the details
telling the truth
letting you in on my stretch marks
and finding confidence and power
and pleasure and delight
and freedom and Life
Each
and
Every
Time.

Your assignment

1) Take your journal. Go back a read EVERY thing you have written thus far. Fill in lists you never finished. Answer questions, make comments, add to the thoughts you've recorded (or START doing these things for the first time...NOW)

2) Turn to the next fresh sheet of paper and print;

How have I STRETCHED myself since I started this Dance Party for One?

And write your answers.

If you have bought a lipstick, you stretched yourself.
If you chewed your gum, you stretched yourself.
If you completed a single list, wrote me a note, left a comment on the blog, signed up to be a follower, tuned in for a VLOG, took your measurements, even BOUGHT a journal, had a meal by yourself, stood in front of the mirror and danced....you stretched yourself.

Write all of these things down, and anything else you can think of that you have done while thinking, questioning, considering and trying the things from these posts.
You have been stretching yourself
and now
it is time to stretch yourself even further.

3) Think of three ways you will stretch yourself this week.
What are three things you can try, overcome, attempt This Week?
Relating to your food, your clothes, your look, your free time, your interests, your fears....YOU
Think of three things you are
WILLING
to do
For Your Self
to stretch yourself
THIS week.

4) Turn to the Now Crowded first page of your notebook and print:
I am determined to Stretch my Self, while I am shrinking my body

Sign up to follow the blog if you haven't already.
Please leave comments and share your experiences,
here on the blog on on Facebook on the Dance Party for One page
Sign up for Twitter (I admit, I have fallen behind on my tweets, I will catch up soon)
Check out the Dance Party for One Youtube channel, and subscribe
and
share the links to all of these with your friends and family.

In all my business, writing and travel,
I am thinking of You
Those I have met
those I know
those who are reading and thinking and doing
and those
who's names and faces I have yet to recognize.
You're with me when I challenge myself
peel back a layer
want to skip out
can't think of what to say
and push myself to share

Thank you for your time and interest and support
WE are BOTH better for it.

That's all.
Be Your Best,
Becky