It's a Date

I am all about dates. I have always LOVED dates! I remember, when I was single, schlumping it out ALL day on a Saturday, staying in PJs, and lazying around....waiting for the clock to tell me it was time to get ready for a big night out. And get ready--I DID!

For me, dates are an occasion to go ALL OUT, looking my best and taking as much time as I can spend...FEELING my best. The getting ready is half of the fun! Date night includes a long shower, fresh toenail polish, an at-home facial, perfume, special (new?) clothes, lotioned-up legs and elbows, bigger and better hair, lipstick, killer earrings and a cute bag....THAT is a DATE for ME!

And that's what I do--when I'm going out with my husband, or on a GNO....or taking my son to dinner...or one of my daughters to the mall for shopping and lunch. I go on dates with my children A LOT. I spend that kind of time with them, individually, a different child (I have four), weekly. I go out with Mike for dinner and/or drinks, just about every other weekend....and love the TIME it takes to get ready to be with each of them....and THEY love that I take all that time, FOR THEM. My daughters pick out my clothes for our dates. My son treats me like a REAL date, when we go out. He knows, they know, Mike knows, I have dressed up for ME, but I have also dressed up for THEM for our time together.

But here, I must make another confession....
I get "dressed" ALL the TIME
I don't mean, GLAMMED out to the MAX, every day...
but I DO put forth
EFFORT every day,
EVERY DAY
to look my best.
Every Day.

The way I see it,
I can take 5 minutes extra a day,
and add it to what I REALLY need in minutes to get ready,
and go from
"Showered and Ready"
to
"Showered and Great"
I can add 10 extra minutes and torque it up to
"Showered and Polished"
or
I can take 15 (just 15 minutes extra)
and end up with
"Showered and Fabulous."
MY FABULOUS
No one else's Fabulous.
MY version of Fabulous.

Your fabulous will be different than mine
your comfort level will be different
your results will be different
because you are unique
(remember?)
You are incredibly unique
AND
Who YOU want to be
is not who I WANT TO BE!
Who do you want to be?
(remember that question?)

So, think of your OWN fabulous.
And think of what YOU could do
with your SELF,
if you gave yourself 15 extra minutes to get ready
two mornings, a week.
Just two mornings.
What two mornings, do you want to devote an extra 15 minutes to,
in order to go from "Showered and Ready" to
"Showered and Fabulous?"

And before you start thinking this is altogether too vain,
too shallow,
too silly or stupid
or unnecessary...
maybe it would help if you went back to thinking about the stuff you listed last time....
The list of things you would do if you were preparing for the Dream Job Interview.
You made a list (maybe? hopefully? If not, there is always TODAY to make that list)
What if,
TODAY (or the two days you are going to pick during this week to be 15 minutes MORE fabulous), was the day you were heading out on that interview?
What if your First Impression, TODAY
was going to change YOUR LIFE?!?!

You see,
I believe,
Being (your version of) FABULOUS,
will
and does
Change Your Life.
Seriously.
Honestly.

I'll say it again:
Being
(your version of)
FABULOUS
will
and does
change your life.

I went shopping with a BFF I hadn't gone REALLY shopping with in more than TWO decades, during a recent visit to my college town. G and I tried on jeans. And more jeans. And more jeans. And chunky heels and platform shoes. And cute jackets and sweaters. And fitted tops and layering tanks, and accessories. WE had a blast. We laughed at some outfits. Rolled our eyes at others.....and then shed a few tears. Literally did a little crying in our dressing room...because it felt SO GOOD. We were fed, by the adventure of putting something NEW on our 40-something bodies. We were fed by the companionship while trying on "out there" outfits that pushed us beyond out comfort zones.

And

We
Looked
Fabulous

and

We FELT fabulous

I remember commenting to G, while we were deciding what (if anything) to purchase,
"You, know that when we wear these outfits,
we're going to remember today
and how fabulous this felt.
I bet we will be nicer to our children when we are wearing these,
and feeling so good about ourselves.
I bet I will be more kind to my husband when I look like this.
I bet I will smile a lot more in these clothes,
I will stand taller, hold my head higher and even speak differently
Because I feel so great. So fabulous! So "New Me," in them!"

I didn't buy ANYTHING that day.
BUT,
I carried that,
I CAN BE FABULOUS
feeling around with me, IN me,
even without a bag of new clothes.
Because I caught a look at myself in the mirror
and saw a glimpse of my
Inner Fabulousness
shining through, shining OUT of me
ONTO
My Outer Me.
And
IT
was
FABULOUS!

You see,
I had embraced my INNER fabulousness
and OUTER ME Fabulousness,
months earlier.
I had DECIDED I wanted to BE fabulous
rather than messy, baggy, thrown-together,
dressed down and dull,
about half-way through my weight loss journey.

And please, keep in mind, FABULOUS is different for me than for you.
All I am talking about here, is EFFORT and CARE...
Effort, equalling TIME spent on yourself.
Time you LEAVE yourself to get ready.
TIME you PLAN on, and give yourself to get ready for your day...
And CARE.
CARE, equalling WHAT you do with that time.
HOW you spend it on yourself.
WHAT you consciously work into your routine and prep time before you leave the house for your day, or afternoon or evening.
Consider how YOU can go from READY.....to.....Fabulous.

I went on a date with my oldest girl last week for brunch.
We both looked fabulous.
I am going out today with my brother for lunch to celebrate his birthday,
and I am GOING to Look Fabulous.

Here is what YOU are going to do...
Here is the greatest challenge I have posed YET...
Here is what I am asking you to do THIS week...
SOME DAY
or afternoon
or evening
THIS WEEK
(and I would really like to hear about it, so post a comment, or send me a private note telling me all about it)...

1) Turn to the next blank page in your journal and make a list of your favorite lunch or dinner places (WITH a MENU and SERVERS...no drive thrus, no sticky counters where you place your order, no teenage employees with funny hats, big microphones or polyester pants and goofy nametags). Make a list of restaurants.

2) GO BACK a page to where you made the list of things you'd do to get ready for a job interview...and do some crossing out or erasing...MAKE you page a list of things you would do to get ready for a DATE...MANY items will stay the same, maybe a couple with change.

3) Pick two days THIS WEEK, to take 15 extra minutes to get ready...to take yourself from READY to FABULOUS.

4) On the second day.....SOME TIME THIS WEEK.......(GET READY, HERE IT COMES....)
Pick one of the restaurants
and
Take
Your
Fabulous
Self
ON A DATE.
DO THIS ALONE.
GO OUT TO DINNER OR LUNCH
COMPLETELY ALONE
Looking Fabulous
Feeling your best
ALONE.

Ask for a table for ONE
Take a long time looking at the menu
DECIDE what you want to FEED yourself
and order it.
Do not rush
TRY not to feel too self conscious
TRY to enjoy yourself
TRY to connect with being on your own, eating what you like and FEEDING yourself.

If you must,
take your Dance Party journal along.
Fill in the pages you haven't done yet.
Focus your thinking
Connect with YOU
Be WHO you are wanting to be.

I am serious about this.
This is a MAJOR thing to ask (for some of you)
For others, you go out for lunch alone a lot, because of work and such...
but this time, it will be different. It will be a conscious decision to do so--
A DATE WITH YOURSELF,
while looking fabulous.

Hire a babysitter, or trade with a friend who will do this for you.
Expense is not the issue.
You do not have to pick a fancy place.
BUT
You MUST put forth CARE and EFFORT into getting yourself ready
and
YOU must go alone.....
and SPEND ONE HOUR doing it.

Can you?
Are you Ready?
Are you FABULOUS?
Of COURSE you are!
You just need a little practice
in letting it OUT!

That's all.
Be Your Best!
Becky